of Daughters and the Best of Gifts

i dedicate this post especially to my beloved sisters, and my future daughters (if Allah has them for me) and my siblings who are at the stage of raising children. also to all sisters out there, especially those who still have both parents alive or one of them, and those who are gifted with children and still bringing them up, especially those with daughters. i hope this helps you all to become a better person insyaAllah.

(before you continue, know this: this post is written in a course of more than 1 week.not that it took me that much effort, nor was i just lazy, but i wrote this a little at a time (except at the end, where i really feel like finishing this), trying my best not to spend too much time blogging at a time)

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“Daddy, what do you want me to be when I grow up?”

The question was sudden. I couldn’t help but to show a hint of surprise on my face upon my daughter’s query, and she noticed.

“My teacher asked about our ambitions during ice breaking session this morning. I actually didn’t know what I wanted to be and I said so. The teacher didn’t seem to be bothered but I really think that I should have an ambition. So I decided to ask you or mommy”

I smiled at her innocence and how beautiful she is that way. You will be amazed to realize how a seven year old girl can make your life so meaningful to live in.

“Come here” I said, making a space beside me on the sofa for her. The answer that I wanted to give her was something I hoped she will remember for the rest of her life. And I wanted her to treasure this moment.

“Our beloved Prophet s.a.w.  said” i began, slowly so that she hears and understands every word, and remembering ” ‘those who are gifted with three daughters, and they take good care of them, provide them sufficiently and love them, Paradise is for them’

“I want you to be that daughter in the hadith, I want to you to be my ticket to Paradise, and that is enough for me” I said.

and I smiled even more at her confused look.

“Ticket to Paradise? How am I suppose to do that?” Her face couldn’t be more baffled, and I almost laughed by it.

“Be a decent girl,” I answered, “be obedient to Allah and to Daddy and Mommy, love Allah and the Prophet, be kind to Daddy and Mommy, be kind to everyone, generous with your belongings…” I paused, trying to evaluate her understanding from her looks. She seemed enlightened. And I knew that what she needs now is a figure “i want you to be like Mommy” I ended with a smile, feeling very glad that I could give her a very close person for her to follow that she already loved so much, and that was very much related to the great decision that I made 8 years ago.

(okay the end of the last paragraph is a bit off topic, but you know what: this can be a good beginning to a love story. I mean, an Islamic one. but I don’t think I’m going to do that. I’m not that good with romantic tales anyway. and that would certainly overshadow the real message that i want to convey in this post)

*this is obviously not a real story. my using the 1st person is just a way to really get into the story. if anyone realized, all my essays during school, when i was required to write a story, i used the 1st person. it’s not only for the readers, but it’s actually for me as the write. and i feel it is easier to express feelings this way.

before i go to the main point, i want to make clear the reasons i wrote the story above:

1. it’s been a long time since the last time i wrote a story. i think i still like it

2. it’s an interesting way to start a post, and some people actually find it a good reason to continue reading, trying to relate the story with the main message

3. trying to create a practical way to relate the post with our (or ‘our future’, you know what i mean) lives

4. hidden message not related to the post: find a good spouse to be an example to your children, while you yourself  should be a figure in your children’s life (well, good women for good men and vice versa, right? (anNur, 24:26)) i have heard a lot that this will help in bringing up your children

5. and of course, it IS mainly regarding the topic: about daughters and the possibly best gift a daughter can give to her parents (not the other way round! everybody probably know that already)

——————–

مَنْ كَانَ لَهُ ثَلاَثَُ بَنَاتٍ، يُؤْوِيْهِنَّ، وَيَكْفِيْهِنَّ، وَيَرْحَمُهُنَّ، فَقَدْ وَجَبَتْ لَهُ الْجَنَّةُ الْبَتَّةَ. فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنْ بَعْضِ القَوْمِ: وَثِنْتَيْنِ، يَا رَسُوْلَ اللهِ؟ قَالَ: وَثِنْتَيْنِ

“Barangsiapa yang memiliki tiga orang anak perempuan yang dia jaga, dia cukupi dan dia beri mereka kasih sayang, maka pasti baginya surga.” Seseorang pun bertanya, “Dua juga, wahai Rasulullah?” Beliau menjawab, “Dan dua juga.” (Dikatakan oleh Asy-Syaikh Al-Albani dalam Shahih Al-Adabil Mufrad no. 58: “Hasan”)

in another hadeeth:

“He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this”, and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them.” (Muslim)

i was hearing a talk by brother Nouman Ali Khan of Bayyinah Institute, regarding the tafseer of surah atTakwir when he came to the ayahs 8 and 9 (“and when the female infant buried alive is questioned, for what sin she was killed” (atTakwir, 81:8-9)) he went on explaining about how the Arabs of Mekkah at that time, before Islam comes, considered daughters as a symbol of shamelessness. i don’t want to go on about that, and how Islam came and elevated the level of women in the community. (you can read some nice articles here and here), but what made me thinking at that time was when he said something like “Allah did not guarantee Jannah for people who have 2 or 3 sons, but Allah’s messenger s.a.w. did guarantee Jannah if you can raise 3 daughters properly”  then i went “oh, really?” and started googling afterward, and found the hadeeth. my 1st reaction was ‘MasyaAllah’ and then a kind of jealousy flowed in.

why jealousy? well before i go deeper to this point, i want you to really ponder on the hadeeths:

“Barangsiapa yang memiliki tiga orang anak perempuan yang dia jaga, dia cukupi dan dia beri mereka kasih sayang, maka pasti baginya surga.” Seseorang pun bertanya, “Dua juga, wahai Rasulullah?” Beliau menjawab, “Dan dua juga.” (Dikatakan oleh Asy-Syaikh Al-Albani dalam Shahih Al-Adabil Mufrad no. 58: “Hasan”)

in another hadeeth:

“He who raises two daughters until their puberty will be with me in Paradise like this”, and he symbolized the proximity by showing two of his fingers with a slight gap between them.” (Muslim)

there are many significances in both hadeeths. some that we can think of:

1.through these hadeeths, Islam elevates the level of daughters (hence women) in the community once considered women as a humiliation. (refer to the previous articles i linked to)

2. it’s a way to stress on the importance of bringing up children, and doing it the right way. it’s not just bringing up or raise actually. it’s more than just that. it’s providing, love, commitment and tarbiyah. well, we are talking about Paradise and meeting the Prophet here. it IS a HUGE deal (not just big).

before i go to the 3rd part, which is the reason i feel jealous of the girls, i want you to think, to feel, your love of your parents. how close you actually are to your parents. how much they have sacrificed since your birth (and even before), how much they love you. and how you want them to be happy. how you hate to disappoint them, how you want to repay their sacrifices (that you can’t do even when you breath your last)

3. okay, now let think, what present we want to give our parents. what’s the best that probably can make them happy at least.

.

.

.

i’m sure a lot comes up, but referring to the hadeeths, i can’t think of a better gift to give our parents than Paradise itself and to be that close to the Prophet on top of that. i didn’t mean you have the power to actually give, but you can be the reason your parents can enter Jannah. isn’t that possibly the best of gifts? (the reason of my jealousy, while the daughters have the chance to be the reason their parents enter Paradise and become close to the Prophet, i can’t even guarantee me myself can be among those who enter Jannah. may Allah accept our deeds and include us all among those who are worthy of the Garden)

okay, let think this over: i’m pretty sure your parents have tried their best to provide you with everything they capable of. love? you can’t find another person who love you more than they do. it might be not the kind of  love that you expect, but have you heard ‘when someone loves you, but not the way you want him/her to love you, doesn’t mean he/her didn’t tried his/her best’? so what’s left is eventually whether we really appreciate what they have done. and there’s no better way other than to show them how decent you have become. it might not be directly the result of their bringing you up, but whoever you are today, undeniably, is the result of you being with them in the beginning of your life. i didn’t ask you to become a hypocrite, but it’s not too late for you to improve yourself, to become the anak solehah. imagine, when your parents see how decent you have become, the daughter that they can consider anak solehah, wouldn’t it be a great relieve for your parents, knowing that all their sacrifices has the chance of being paid with Paradise and being close to the Prophet? i mean that close? it’s like the best dream comes true!

i know to some, it is very hard to become a good muslimah, and even harder to remain as one. but do try your best. surely the Paradise beneath which rivers flow, to abide in it’s dwellers; and this is the great achievement (anNisa’, 4:13) is not something that can be achieved easily

أَمْ حَسِبْتُمْ أَن تَدْخُلُواْ الْجَنَّةَ وَلَمَّا يَأْتِكُم مَّثَلُ الَّذِينَ خَلَوْاْ مِن قَبْلِكُم مَّسَّتْهُمُ الْبَأْسَاء وَالضَّرَّاء وَزُلْزِلُواْ حَتَّى يَقُولَ الرَّسُولُ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ مَعَهُ مَتَى نَصْرُ اللّهِ أَلا إِنَّ نَصْرَ اللّهِ قَرِيبٌ

‘Or do you think that you would enter the Garden while yet the state of those who have passed away before you has not come upon you; distress and affliction befell them and they were shaken violently, so that the Apostle and those who believed with him said: When will the help of Allah come? Now surely the help of Allah is near’ (alBaqarah, 2:214)

life is short. the akhirah is permanent.  take this chance while you are still breathing to make as many ‘amal soleh as possible. and expect to be tested as you walk this path. may Allah give us strength to stay in this path and deen till the end of our day on this world. and may Allah accept our ‘amal and raise us among the Prophets and sahabahs in Jannah.

wallahua’lam

4 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    aana said,

    yup… can’t think of a better gift for our parents than paradise itself. inspiring

  2. 2

    raihana said,

    salam..
    perkongsian yg baik..sgt bermanfaat..
    ana nk share:
    sabda rasulullah saw:
    “ada 3 golongan yang berpotensi besar. 1)orang miskin. 2)hamba abdi. 3)wanita.”
    >>wanita adalah impak potensi plg besar..sbb tu musuh islam nk hancurkan wanita dlu dgn mcm2 cubaan..tp jika dibentuk dgn baik, insyaAllah dpt meneladani saidatina khadijah ra.

  3. 3

    AdamLee said,

    wah~ artikel ini best!

  4. 4

    ano said,

    cool…inspiring, pls keep up d gud work.TQ


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